The hilarious first novel by the bestselling author of A YEAR IN THE MERDE. Richie and his wife Clara have won a weekend in New York in a newspaper competition. While Clara is off blowing their spending money, Richie wanders aimlessly, chewing on a veggie-burger, ending up in a gift-shop where he finds himself standing in front of an instant transporter machine. It looks like a glorified microwave oven. Richie places his burger inside - and the burger disappears. Richie instantly buys a teleporter and takes it back to England, where the chaos begins.