We've heard it over and over as fingers point across the Atlantic: THEY are so arrogant! When the topic comes up in intercultural trainings, people from other countries usually laugh and say: Both French and Americans are arrogant! What's there to talk about? Beyond a fun but ultimately sterile debate over who is the most arrogant, perceptions of arrogance can be a window into the different ways we interpret behavior through the filter of our own cultural values and illustrative of how other cultures value humility. Throughout this work we look at how French and American values and expected behavior differ around such concepts as: discretion and confidence, pudeur du corps and pudeur des sentiments, economic capital vs cultural capital. We also see how interpersonal identity construction relies on these different reference systems and lastly how we can better understand other perspectives in order to live and work more effectively together.